My daughter came home from school the other day with the first words out of her mouth – to quote: “You’ve just got to write about this!” So I obliged. (Hindsight being 20-20, I’m glad it didn’t turn out to be: Things that happen to a little girl’s body as they mature.)
It turns out that one of her fellow fourth grade students at Linwood Elementary School has started a unique club.
Now I don’t know if he’s researched the political correctness on this – I certainly don’t know the political correctness on this – but he’s formed the Midget Club.
Now, he’s not a midget (Little person? Vertically challenged? VSBVIP – Very Short But Very Important Person?) but he is short. (I did say he was in the fourth grade). Who is he? His name is Trent Kurasaka.
What’s the Midget Club? (And P.S. I really am not trying to make fun of little people. I have two cousins who married a little person and I myself seem to shrink a bit every day.)
Well, first off, there are currently three members in the club counting Kurasaka. Dustin Priaulx and Darius Anderson are the other two. My daughter was supposed to confirm the spelling of their names but being the good journalist that she is, she forgot.
Second, she told me they only meet at recess. That’s important, so you don’t think they’re causing “big” problems in the classroom.
And third, I’m told there was a 10-question test they had to pass to get in. My daughter was supposed to get that for me too, but see “good journalist.” If I had to guess, however, I would venture to say you would probably have to answer, “yes” to at least some, maybe all, of the following:
l Do you look up to school officials?
l When you drop a crayon or pencil on the floor, does it?
l When assigned to write a short story, was it a biography?
l Have you ever heard a cafeteria worker say: “I must be going crazy. I think I’m hearing voices.”
l Does long division give you a headache?
l Is hopscotch a pipe dream?
l Is the shortest distance between two points you?
l Did you make short work of the CRCT?
l Has the school counselor ever told you regarding your future: “There’s nowhere to go but up” and then laughed?
l Has you mom ever asked: “Why is this shirt so stretched?” (Don’t worry. It will become clear in a second.)
So, what is the Midget Club? Well, apparently Trent and company have discovered the joy of pulling their knees up to their chests, pulling their shirts over their knees, then walking around on the playground like they’re, well ... you know, little people.
It’s all the rage. Or, at least I believe it will be (you know, like SNAP!) once it catches on. In fact I see before long teachers will be doing it.
“OK class. We’re going to have a short day today.”
Parents – families – will be doing it. Father: “My son is going to play shortstop.” Mom: “Oh no he’s not. He’s going to take shorthand and be a secretary.” Grandmother: “‘Mammy’s little baby loves short-n’ short-n’. Mammy’s little baby loves short-n’ bread.”
Politicians will join in. Gov. Sonny Perdue: “I’m tired of hearing about this water shortage.”
Doctors: “Uh ... You appear to be a little short on your $1,638,482.15 bill.” Lawyers: “Uh ... You appear to be a little short on your $1,638, 482.15 bill.” Even me (I reference my public speaking column last week): “And now for a short speech.”
Ah but before long, kids will get bored with it. They will slowly rise out from beneath their shirts like flowers rising to the sky (at least by puberty when their shoe sizes grows to a 14).
Teachers, parents, politicians, doctors, lawyers and me on the other hand, we’re adults (in theory). When we do something, we don’t do it. And when we start something we stick to it ...
Trent and gang may not have realized it but they may have solved an age-old problem the world over: Children and adults seeing eye-to-eye.
