I’ve decided to add a new word to my arsenal. (Some will question: “He has a ‘word arsenal’?”) “Snap.”
I know. It’s come and gone – maybe just left the scene – with most of the “now” generation, and yes, it doesn’t sound like much by itself? “Snap.” But two things: One, I have always been behind the times (I still just wear my pants without my underwear showing) and two, when you write or say it like this: SNAP! Then, it has impact!
I just so happened upon its potential by accident this past weekend. My wife said: “Everybody’s going to be over there (for Easter dinner). I want you to be on your best behavior when you hide eggs. None of that tying them to the dog’s tail or hiding them on the roof ...”
“Oh, SNAP!,” I said.
I don’t know where it came from. I don’t know where half the stuff in my brain comes from. Insanity, I guess. But it stopped her dead in her tracks. And she was in the closet getting changed from her church clothes, and standing there in nothing but her Fruit of the Looms at the time. That’s powerful!
I tried it out on my 9-year-old later with the same effect. “Daddy. Do you think I could have another hamster?” (Now that the four previous, three mice, one rat and one gerbil are all but a memory.) “Oh. SNAP!”
Suddenly I could see by the shock on her face she was thinking something drastic: What? Are there no more hamsters alive?
“Sorry honey. There are no more hamsters alive.”
Now I’m hooked. I’m going to use it in all my writing, all my communication. County commissioners meeting without SNAP!: “In other business, county commissioners voted to award a bid of $13,642 for an F-150 pickup truck.” (Snore.)
County commissioners meeting with SNAP!: “In other business, county commissioners voted to award a bid of $13,642 for an F-150 pickup truck. SNAP!”
Before you were thinking plain old pickup truck. With SNAP! you’re thinking big old mud grip tires, dual exhaust going up the sides, flames, giant speakers – as if the trick-my-truck people had gotten a hold of it first. Sports without SNAP!: “He hit the ball hard.”
You: “He grounded out?”
Sports with it: “He hit the ball hard. SNAP!”
You: “He hit a home run?”
Charlotte Perkins’ food section without SNAP! – as taken from Yvonne Sutherland’s “Pate starts the meal” in Wednesday’s paper (with a chicken liver pate recipe following): “Pate is one of my favorite appetizers.” You: “Yuck.”
Now with SNAP!: “Pate is one of my favorite appetizers. SNAP!”
You (not me): “Yum!” (Sorry. There’s not enough SNAP! in the world – or Snapple to wash it down with – to make chicken liver pate sound appetizing.) How about Larry Walker’s headline above: “What’s going on in Perridise?” Without SNAP! it’s a cool play on words but with SNAP!: “What’s going on in Perridise? SNAP!”, now you’re feeling a passion the size of impact fees and/or a unified animal shelter.
This could be big. No, this could be big SNAP! I could see Georgia Gov. Sonny Perdue using it.
“Governor Perdue! Governor Perdue! They’re draining too much water again!” Perdue, making a Point A to Point B, (from one side to the other) attitudinal snap with his fingers, “Oh. SNAP!” (Note: Once he gets wind of the power I’ve unleashed I anticipate he’ll draft a bill that says it – using SNAP! – as well as employing “Oh no he didint!” can only be used by high-ranking officials.)
I could see Barack Obama changing his slogan to: “Change we can believe in. SNAP!” I could see Hilary Clinton wanting to make it: “Ready for Change, Ready to Lead. SNAP!” and John McCain going with: “Courageous Service. Experienced Leadership. Bold Solutions. SNAP!”
The possibilities are simply endless.
Oh, I’m sorry. You didn’t get that, did you?
The possibilities are simply endless. SNAP!
